Wednesday, April 21, 2004
( 8:39 AM ) teahouse
The Hostess with the Leastest
I have friends coming into town to visit me for a few days. Because work has been so crazy, I'm now scrambling around trying to clean my apartment and prepare for their arrival.
I just realized that I'm a terrible hostess.
I'm messy and unorganized. I'm not one of those hostesses who have fresh flowers on the table to greet their guests. I think I can dig up a dying cactus somewhere.
My towels never match. My bathroom is dirty. I can't find my iron, and I can't remember the last time I used a hair dryer.
I won't be waking up at 6 a.m. to brew coffee so they are awakened by the pleasing aroma, like in those Folger's commercials.
I have no food in my refrigerator. If they stay with me for too long, they'll starve to death.
We New Yorkers get lazy with our guests. We don't plan things because we figure they'll just amuse themselves in the City while we work. I'm sure my friends will be fine.
If they're really bored and kind find a single thing to do in this city, they can stop by my office and watch me work for 18 hours straight. It'll be more exciting than the Zoo. Watching lawyers in their natural habitat. #