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Friday, May 28, 2004 ( 1:26 AM ) teahouse Spread Those Wings I was at home last weekend to attend the Sister's college graduation. It was fun and poignant and exciting. Hard to describe how amazing it was to see how my baby Sister has grown into such an accomplished young lady! When I got to my parents' house, my dad showed me a beautiful sight in the back yard. Two doves had laid 3 little eggs in one of his empty plant pots behind the house, and a few weeks before I arrived, the eggs had hatched. The little baby doves were so cute. My dad told me this was the second year in a row that the doves had come and laid their eggs in the same spot behind the house. The adult doves were never far away, feeding them, helping them to take short flights from the nest. The third morning I was there, the baby doves were gone. They had flown away. That same day, my Sister graduated from college. She'll soon be moving up to the East Coast as well. I think there's some symbolism in that, but I'm not sure how to put it into words. So I won't. I've just told the story; I'll leave it at that. # 0 comments Thursday, May 27, 2004 ( 9:33 AM ) teahouse Hangover!! I went out with some people after work last night, and this morning I'm feeling it. I was going to have only 1 drink, and then head home. So much for that plan. Right now my head is pounding and my tongue feels furry. I haven't felt this way since junior year of college. Ugh, I never should have had that third margarita. I'm getting too old for this. # 0 comments Wednesday, May 26, 2004 ( 9:02 AM ) teahouse Make Way for Luciano So last week a friend and I had dinner before a concert at Lincoln Center. On the wall behind our table was affixed a plaque, which read "Reserved for Luciano Pavarotti." But the plaque was on the wall between 2 tables. We wondered which table was the one actually reserved for the portly tenor. Was it ours or the one next to ours? My friend surmised, "They must push the tables together and give him one for each butt cheek." I thought that was the funniest thing I had heard all night, and promptly laughed so hard I snorted wine through my nose. # 0 comments Monday, May 24, 2004 ( 9:03 AM ) teahouse Fly the Friendly Skies Well, I arrived back late last night. I took an evening flight back up, and it was not pleasant at all. First, when we boarded the plane, there was music piping overhead that sounded like a cross between Yanni and the theme from the Halloween horror movies. Then, I was stuck in the last row, sandwiched between a really fat guy and a woman who kept having to get up and go to the bathroom to throw up. Finally, the flight attendants were rude, they ran out of food before they got to us, and all I got to drink was a cup of lukewarm water. I hate flying. # 0 comments Thursday, May 20, 2004 ( 6:18 PM ) teahouse Commencement I've been out of touch for the past couple of days..I'm actually in the Deep South, attending the Sister's college graduation and accompanying festivities. I'm enjoying being home again, having the local food, getting away from the hustle and bustle of New York City. It's about 40 degrees hotter here than it is up in the Big Apple. I'll be back after the weekend, I'm sure with wonderful stories to regale all of you lovely readers. Keep cool. # 0 comments Tuesday, May 18, 2004 ( 8:51 AM ) teahouse The Perils of Living Alone I'm so uncoordinated and klutzy; I absolutely can't dress myself. When I had a Boy, and he would stay over, he'd always zip my dress for me in the morning, or button the top clasp. I miss that. Yesterday I couldn't get my shirt cuffs buttoned. I had to go to work with the cuffs unbuttoned and flapping, and ask my secretary to button them for me. Of course, a partner walked by and gave us a strange look. Yes, I am a full grown woman, and yes, they do permit me to practice law in the State of New York. Even though I have to be dressed like a child. Maybe I need child-proof clothes, like remember those moon boots when you were a kid, the ones that had no difference between left and right, and could be pulled on by 4-year-old hands? This lawyer needs a whole wardrobe like that. # 0 comments Monday, May 17, 2004 ( 8:46 AM ) teahouse Buns of Steel Yesterday I did the New York AIDS Walk. Over 40,000 of us walked 10K (6.2 miles) from Central Park through the West Side of Manhattan. I did the walk with my best friend K and her gay Asian guy friend P. Between the 3 of us, we raised about $1500 to support AIDS Research. Our plan was to stroll along at a leisurely pace, but P kept us on our toes. He saw some cute guy with a great ass, and he kept chasing him for the entire route, dragging us behind him. K and I were understanding; the straight women and the gay men of New York certainly know how hard it can be to find love in the Big Apple. I got a blister the size of a quarter on my toe. It hurts like nobody's business. It's so weird; I can run a 10K with no problem. But I walk one and now I'm hobbling around like an old woman? Makes no sense, I tell yas! And P never did get that great ass guy to notice him. So it was all for naught. # 0 comments Friday, May 14, 2004 ( 7:17 AM ) teahouse Crime of the Century Last night, someone broke into my sister's car and stole some stuff. She and a friend were having dinner in a restaurant; the car was parked on the street a block away. After dinner, they discovered that someone had smashed the passenger side window and stolen her cell phone from the front seat. My sister called me later to tell me about it. Sister: "So we called the cops, and then we went back to the restaurant to wait for them. But before the cops arrived, someone else came along and stole my leather jacket from the back seat." teahouseblossom: "What? You left the car there with the window open like that? Why didn't you take all of the valuable stuff with you, or else just stay with the car?" Sister: "We didn't want to disturb the crime scene." What...did she think they were going to bring out the forensic experts? Test for DNA? Yeah, someone has been watching too much CSI. # 0 comments Thursday, May 13, 2004 ( 8:07 AM ) teahouse Worker's Compensation So I spent yesterday in the doctor's office. I was in my office minding my own business, when a ceiling tile suddenly fell from above and hit me on the head. So I went to the hospital. X-rays showed that nothing was broken. I just have a huge bruise on my shoulder. The doctor couldn't stop laughing. He said, "I'm sorry, but this is the first work-related injury I've seen from a lawyer." My firm was very nice, provided a car service to and from the doctor, paid for everything. I guess they're afraid I'll sue them since my office appears to be a death trap. That gives me an idea..I could get a settlement, retire from this job, get set up for life! I swear, this kind of thing happens only to me. I couldn't even make this stuff up. # 0 comments Tuesday, May 11, 2004 ( 9:09 AM ) teahouse Mawwiage One of my friends is getting married soon. I already sense some tension between her and her future inlaws. She's been venting to me a lot about it lately. She showed me this site: I Hate My Inlaws. Haa-HAA!! I guess someone else is always even worse off. # 0 comments Monday, May 10, 2004 ( 8:57 AM ) teahouse Sticker Shock I just went to the pharmacy to refill my meds. I have 4 prescriptions, for various medications to treat my allergies and asthma. I just switched health insurance, so I didn't have my new prescription card. I told the pharmacist to just charge me the full amount, and I'll try to get reimbursed from my insurance company later. When he rang up the total, I almost had a heart attack. For 4 medications, the total was $402.00. Oh. My. Goodness. It was so much, my debit card was turned down, and I had to use my American Express card. I'm surprised handcuffs didn't pop out of the cash register to confiscate my card. I'm moving to Canada. # 0 comments Friday, May 07, 2004 ( 8:03 AM ) teahouse A Tribute to Mom My mom has not had an easy life. When my parents came to the U.S. in the 1970s, my mom had to work some menial jobs to help my dad through graduate school. Among her jobs were bank teller, hotel maid, and janitor. She was a college graduate; I'm sure it was hard for her in a strange country. Her supervisors exploited her because she was an ignorant foreigner. Her coworkers were mean to her. I remember one job in particular. She worked for the city newspaper, putting inserts into the Sunday paper. Every Saturday night into the wee hours of the morning, she stood before a monstrous pile of Sunday papers, one by one sticking glossy inserts between the sections. Every hour she would wash her hands at the sink with Lava soap, the water turning black as the faucet gushed. Now, when I sit in my yuppie apartment in Manhattan, paid for with my high-powered attorney salary, my latte in hand, opening the Sunday New York Times, and the ads and the New York Times Magazine fall out, I think of how hard she worked to help bring me to where I am today. Happy Mother's Day. # 0 comments Thursday, May 06, 2004 ( 8:12 AM ) teahouse They Have My Soul Every firm has one or two partners/senior associates to be avoided at all costs. They're either mean, demanding or otherwise difficult to work for. After a while everyone figures out who they are. And everyone gets their turn of being sucked into their vortex, but if you're lucky, you can usually escape after a few weeks/months by getting really busy on projects for other people. Right now I've been sucked into the vortex of Lawyer X. It's been a long month of late nights and impossible projects. Actual quote from a junior associate who's worked with this person before: "Lawyer X is Satan." 'Nuff said. # 0 comments Tuesday, May 04, 2004 ( 9:02 AM ) teahouse The Laws of Supply and Demand Taxi fares went up yesterday in NYC. Taxi drivers have also been given more incentive (in the form of surcharges) to drive during 4 and 8 p.m. on weekdays. This is good, because we've all had stories of being stranded without a cab during rush hour. So in honor of the first day of the increase, there were a MILLION cabs on Lexington Avenue. Walking home from work, I saw a line of cabs crawling along, looking for potential customers. One driver pulled up and followed me as I walked. The turbaned gentleman gave me a hopeful look. I shook my head, as I was almost home. He became more aggressive, and shouted, "Come on, young lady, you want a ride? I take you anywhere you want!" I felt bad, pointing to my building across the street to indicate that I'd already arrived at my destination. He shook his head, and cursing, sped off with a squeal of tires. Where was he on Sunday night, when I broke a heal off my shoe on the Upper West Side, twisted my ankle and had to hobble home on one foot? # 0 comments Monday, May 03, 2004 ( 9:07 AM ) teahouse Sometimes We Just Want to be Held Latey, I've been getting a new kind of spam. I got an email yesterday with the subject line, "You are for me." There was a photograph of a smiling, underage looking teenage Asian girl, and the following text: "I am study school, I like to spend time cheerfully even if not all so well, I hompe and trust, that all bad when pass and necessarily nastanet there would be a desire. For more info see attached file." Today there was another one. The subject line was "I like you," and the girl pictured was naked from the waist up, showing her bare back and glancing over her shoulder seductively. The message read, "Teahouseblossom, I like to feel protected, to understand, that near to me the man, which both in sex, and in life knows what to do. It is possible to fall in love with such man for ever. For details see the attach. Christy." Christy, that's so nice that you are looking for a man who will make you feel protected. I'm not sure what I can do about it, but well, uh, that's really sweet of you to share. And no offense, but I'm not opening your attached file. You're full of viruses, you skanky ho! # 0 comments |
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