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Friday, July 30, 2004 ( 8:55 AM ) teahouse I Think I'm in Love I've got a new crush. He's Marcus Samuelsson, chef and co-owner of Aquavit. I can't figure out the direct link, so you have to click on the orange link to enter "Aquavit" then click on the left under "About Us" - there's a section called "Marcus Samuelsson Bio and Contact." His bio is riveting. I think it's so cool that he's originally from Ethiopia, but that he was adopted by Swedish parents, and is now one of the most famous Scandinavian chefs around. And young and cute, to boot! Marcus, I love your rare seared tuna and scallops. (sigh) Didn't I tell you guys before that male chefs get all the girls? # 0 comments Thursday, July 29, 2004 ( 7:55 AM ) teahouse Fish and Vegetables This lovely girl recently told a tale of woe about how her parents were driving her crazy. It brings to mind a conversation I had with my dad the other day. In fact, every conversation I have with him nowadays. It usually goes something like this: Dad: What did you eat today? Me: I had to work late. A handful of M&Ms for lunch, and I'm about to have dinner. Dad: That's all you've eaten? So unhealthy. Can't you make a salad? Me: Ok (appeasing). I'll make a salad. I'm going out to dinner with some summer associates from the firm. We're going to Aquavit. It's a famous restaurant. Dad: (suspiciously) Do they serve a balanced meal there? Me: Yes, dad. They serve very good food there. It's a really nice restaurant in New York. Dad: You should eat more fish and vegetables. They're healthy. Me: Ok, dad, more fish and vegetables. Dad: Have you cleaned your apartment? It's a mess. Me: No, I haven't had time. Dad: If you don't clean your apartment, no boy will ever marry you. It's shameful. We didn't raise you to be like this. How's work? Me: It's good. It's busy. Dad: Well, that's good! Don't complain about being busy! Busy means you have job security! Nobody has job security in the United States nowadays. Aren't you glad you listened to me and went to law school and now have such a good job? You didn't even want to be a lawyer! It was all my idea, remember? Me: Yes, dad. All of my successes have been your idea. Dad: What does the partner have you doing? Me: I don't really want to get into it, Dad. It's boring and complicated. And I wasn't complaining. You asked how was work. I said busy. Dad: Well, there's nothing wrong with being busy. Me: I didn't say there was anything wrong with being busy. I love being busy! I adore being busy! I'm so happy at work! Dad: Well, busy means job security. Me: Ok, dad, could you say that again? I didn't catch it the first 4 times. Dad: Busy means job security. And eat more fish and vegetables. And save more money. You've been working for several years now; you should have enough saved up to buy an apartment. You make so much money. Me: Taxes are high, dad. And I have student loans. Dad: How much do you have in the bank? Me: It's none of your business, dad. In the United States, it's not polite to ask your adult children how much money they have. Dad: If you won't tell me, that means it's not enough. You can save more. Don't go out to eat too much; it's not healthy. If you buy fish and vegetables and cook them at home, it should be very cheap. When I first started working, I made $100 a week and still managed to save up $500,000 in 6 months to buy a house. Your mother and I are good at saving money; I don't know how we got a daughter like you. I guess we didn't teach you right. Me: Ok, dad. I've brought dishonor upon my family. Dad: Have you been running lately? Me: Yes, dad. Dad: Good. Running is good exercise. But don't overdo it. Remember when I used to go running, and you used to say, "Euuww..running is boring!" Well, I was right all along, wasn't I? Now you understand! Me: Dad, I was 6 years old when I said that. Dad: Well, now you know that I'm right! Just like I'm the one who told you to go to law school; I'm the one who got you into running! Be a good girl and listen to your parents! Eat more fish and vegetables! Me: Aaaarrrggghhh!!! (stabs self in head) My dad and I are, in fact, quite close. I know he cares. He's just turning into an irritating old woman. # 0 comments Monday, July 26, 2004 ( 7:59 AM ) teahouse Spring Fresh Scents Seattle is gorgeous! Even though it was 95 degrees F the entire weekend, and there was NO air conditioning anywhere - it was actually a lot like being home in the Deep South! Funny pre-wedding moment: I was in the church dressing room with K, the bride. K is one of my oldest friends from childhood. She looked beautiful in her wedding dress and veil. We were waiting for the ceremony to start. It was hot and stuffy, and we both confessed we were feeling a little gamey under the arms. And realized that we had both forgotten to spray on deodorant. I rummaged through the drawers in the church dressing room. There was nothing but toilet paper, Clorox Wipes and a can of Lysol Air Freshener. Yeah, it was really hot, and we were really desperate. So yeah....we, uh, sprayed the Lysol on our underarms. It seemed to work. And we both smelled pretty good during the ceremony. The best part about the entire thing was that K said to me, "You know, this would make a GREAT story for your blog!" Yeah, true friends always support you in your endeavors. I love you, K. I wish you and your husband an eternity of happiness together. # 0 comments Thursday, July 22, 2004 ( 9:09 AM ) teahouse Insomniac I had another bout of insomnia last night. For those of you regular readers, you know that I suffer from insomnia on and off, and that I often amuse myself with strange pasttimes whiling the wee hours away. This time I wrote in my diary, watched bad late night PBS, cross-stitched and read the instruction manual for my new running watch. Even then, I didn't conk out until 4. To make things worse, I'm leaving today for the West Coast. This will certainly cause jet lag, which will make the insomnia worse. I have to go to the wedding of a childhood friend in this lovely city. It's going to be fun. Hopefully I'll get plenty of sleep during the flight out. You guys have a nice weekend, and I'll talk to y'all next week! # 0 comments Wednesday, July 21, 2004 ( 8:16 AM ) teahouse Doggie Style? I believe that this site may be the funniest online quiz I've ever taken. It's work safe, since there are no naughty words. But it might be best to make sure that nobody is looking over your shoulder while you're taking it. Or else just say you're shopping for your pet. I got only 7 right out of 14. Gee, I'm not at good at this as I thought I was... # 0 comments Tuesday, July 20, 2004 ( 9:18 AM ) teahouse What's In a Name? Bob is my mailroom guy at work. He pushes the cart around and delivers the mail to all of the attorneys on my floor. Yesterday I passed him the hall as I was coming out of my office. He said, "Good afternoon, Miss Chang." My last name isn't Chang. It doesn't even sound like Chang. It isn't even close to Chang. What the...? Bob has been delivering my mail for the past 4 months. He saw me coming out of my office. I always get my mail, properly addressed to me. And I know his name. My coworker suggested that maybe he was just trying to be respectful, like when some people say, "Hey, Jack" to all men. Seems pretty thin to me. Or maybe he figured that Chang is a pretty common name among Asians, so statistically he had a shot of getting it right? But how could he not know my name? At any rate, it was sweet of him to call me "Miss." # 0 comments Monday, July 19, 2004 ( 1:17 AM ) teahouse A Step Above This weekend I ran another 5 mile race in Central Park. That brings me up to something like 12 races in 2004. And after much thought, and considering how much I've been running lately, I decided to bite the bullet and make a major investment. I bought one of those fancy stopwatches - you know, it checks your heartrate and times your laps, and even has a GPS satellite connection that will enable the police to locate you in the event you get lost while doing a run through the woods of Manhattan. And for the price I paid for it, it damn well better give me back massages and clean my apartment for me. Not that I would know. I'm still too intimidated by the humongous box and thick instruction booklet. It's still sitting on my coffee table. # 0 comments Friday, July 16, 2004 ( 9:22 AM ) teahouse Above it All Last night I poured myself a glass of wine, put on a t-shirt and boxers and fuzzy slippers, opened my kitchen window, and crawled outside onto my fire escape. My fire escape is small and narrow and precarious, but I love to go out there and perch out there and people watch. It's like having my own balcony, in the middle of Manhattan. Below were the sounds of the nightclub and bars across the street: music pulsing, voices rising and falling as young men and women did their mating and courtship dances over beers and cosmopolitans. Smells wafted up, from the Italian restaurant across the street, the Japanese restaurant below, the perfume of a thousand girls and the cigarette smoke mixing and drifting into the atmosphere. I sipped my wine and sighed in contentment and peace...listened to conversations and gossip from groups of people clustered below. I got some good juicy stuff - Bianca is cheating on her boyfriend Mike with his friend Jeff, but Mike doesn't know. Mark thinks Jessica has a nice ass, and is trying to get up the nerve to ask her out. So don't gossip on streetcorners; you never who know might be listening from 10 feet above you. # 0 comments Thursday, July 15, 2004 ( 8:13 AM ) teahouse Lopsided I just discovered some strange phenomena about my body. I can snap the fingers of my left hand, but not my right. My right eyebrow arches slightly higher than my left. Because I play tennis, my right arm has slightly bigger muscles than my left. And finally... I was shaving my legs yesterday, and made the disturbing and bizarre discovery that my right leg seems to grow leg hair faster than my left. I'm a walking Picasso painting! # 0 comments Tuesday, July 13, 2004 ( 9:21 AM ) teahouse Back From the Beach I'm back! East Hampton was heavenly. I sat on the beach, ate and slept a lot, and discovered that I'm a natural at boogey-boarding. Next step will be transforming myself into a surfer chick. The Hamptons are a New York institution. A cluster of small beachside towns nestled on the Eastern end of Long Island, a 2-3 hour drive from Manhattan, they are portrayed by popular media as the exclusive playground of the rich and famous. I found that parts of East Hampton did live up to that image, while in many other ways it had a rustic charm that I found quite pleasing. For example: 1. Our first night there, some of the guys in my group hit the bar scene. They came back with tales of $10 beers and crowds of girls who all looked like Paris Hilton. 2. The beach was beautiful, but while swimming, I found a bottle floating in the water. We're all used to seeing the occasional debris on the beach, but this was an empty champagne bottle! Only in the Hamptons... 3. While walking through the town of East Hampton, I saw my first anorexic senior citizen. A woman in her late 60s, with one too many facelifts, wearing a bikini. A sight I'll never quite be able to delete from my mind. The good news is that I had a nice relaxing time. The bad news is that my camera ran out of batteries on the first day and I didn't get a single photo. I'll have to wait and see whether my friends email any of theirs. Sorry guys! I'll try to plan better next time. I'm lucky I remembered my toothbrush. # 0 comments Tuesday, July 06, 2004 ( 12:06 AM ) teahouse Vacay Well, the Dad is coming into town to visit, and we'll be having some much anticipated father/daughter bonding time for the rest of the week. Then I will be out of town this weekend (doing the Hamptons thing, like a good New Yorker). So I'm out of touch for most of this week. But I'll try to post when I can, and hopefully I'll have some good photos to share upon my return. In the meantime, check out this forward that my friend sent me, reproduced in its entirety (totally politically incorrect, but it made me laugh in spite of myself): DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS: 40-ish.............................................49 Adventurous.................Slept with everyone Athletic......................................No tits Average looking....................Ugly Beautiful...........................Pathological liar Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of pills Emotionally Secure......................On medication Feminist..........................................Fat Free spirit....................................Junkie Friendship first..........................Former slut Fun..........................................Annoying New-Age..............Body hair in the wrong places Old-fashioned.............................No BJs Open-minded.................................Desperate Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing Passionate...............................Sloppy drunk Professional....................................Bitch Voluptuous...................................Very Fat Large frame.................................Hugely Fat Wants Soul mate...............................Stalker WOMEN'S ENGLISH: 1. Yes = No 2. No = Yes 3. Maybe = No 4. We need = I want.. 5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry 6. We need to talk = You're in trouble 7. Sure, go ahead = You better not 8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later 9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron! 10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? MEN'S ENGLISH: 1. I am hungry = I am hungry 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy 3. I am tired = I am tired 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage! 5. I love you = Let's have sex now 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex? 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you 10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you 11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay # 0 comments Friday, July 02, 2004 ( 8:40 AM ) teahouse Looooong Weekend Happy Birthday, USA!! Every July 4, I like to pause and think about the significance of the day. I really love this country. I was born in a foreign land and brought here by my parents as a baby. As such, I am an immigrant and a zealously patriotic naturalized American citizen. We Americans should never take for granted the fact that our country HAS an Independence Day to celebrate with barbecues, fireworks, and parades. The country I came from has no Independence Day. It is still not truly independent. And I believe it never will be. I have an embarrassing confession to make. Every single time I hear the U.S. National Anthem, I tear up. It's most embarassing during baseball games. I have to hide my face. Because July 4 is a Sunday this year, for some inexplicable reason my slave-driving law firm is actually giving us Monday off as an official holiday. Yayy! I'm really looking forward to the long weekend. As a lawyer and defender of the Constitution, and during this time of war and uncertainty (and threats to our freedom from outside and inside our government), I never want to forget what our Founding Fathers did for us that July in 1776. # 0 comments Thursday, July 01, 2004 ( 8:09 AM ) teahouse Going Post-Menopause-al So I got a brochure in my mailbox. It was an ad for a new magazine. The front read, "Go Girl! Introducing the One Magazine that Celebrates Women Over 40." On the cover was a post-menopausal looking woman throwing her arms back and smiling. The brochure was addressed to me; my name was on the pre-printed label. How did I get on these people's mailing list? I'm still under 30. I order regularly from Barnes & Noble and the Victoria's Secret catalog, and that's it. What part of that screams out "I'm over 40!" ?? Ok, ok, so maybe I shouldn't have bought that one vibrator through mail order last year. I guess that got me included in the frustrated middle-aged housewife target demographic. # 0 comments |
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