teahouseblossom
Tuesday, July 06, 2004

      ( 12:06 AM ) teahouse
 
Vacay

Well, the Dad is coming into town to visit, and we'll be having some much anticipated father/daughter bonding time for the rest of the week. Then I will be out of town this weekend (doing the Hamptons thing, like a good New Yorker).

So I'm out of touch for most of this week. But I'll try to post when I can, and hopefully I'll have some good photos to share upon my return.

In the meantime, check out this forward that my friend sent me, reproduced in its entirety (totally politically incorrect, but it made me laugh in spite of myself):

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish.............................................49

Adventurous.................Slept with everyone

Athletic......................................No tits

Average looking....................Ugly

Beautiful...........................Pathological liar

Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of pills

Emotionally Secure......................On medication

Feminist..........................................Fat

Free spirit....................................Junkie

Friendship first..........................Former slut

Fun..........................................Annoying

New-Age..............Body hair in the wrong places

Old-fashioned.............................No BJs

Open-minded.................................Desperate

Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate...............................Sloppy drunk

Professional....................................Bitch

Voluptuous...................................Very Fat

Large frame.................................Hugely Fat

Wants Soul mate...............................Stalker


WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want..
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all
you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with
you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex
with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have
sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have
sex with you
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit =
I'm gay


#


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THIRTYSOMETHING (!!) year old Asian American New Yorker, lawyer, amateur musician, curious girl taking a bite out of the Big Apple. Don't mess with me - I'm short and I look demure, but I carry a big purse. And I've just embarked on the journey of married life in Manhattan.


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