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Thursday, July 28, 2005 ( 8:40 PM ) teahouse Bustin Out All Over Whew. The last week with my parents has been a fun one. I've been working a lot, playing hostess and generally not able to get to the computer to update. They left today to visit the Sister for the next few days. So now I can sleep late, be a slob again, eat out a lot and hang out with the Boy. At least until they return after the weekend. When I saw my parents at the airport, for the first time in almost a year, I asked my mom if I looked any different. "Have I gained any weight?" I asked. "No," she said. "You look skinnier. But your breasts look like they've gotten bigger." Hooray!!! I told my mom she can come and visit me anytime she wants. # 0 comments Monday, July 25, 2005 ( 8:04 AM ) teahouse Happy Thoughts The parents are in town. The past weekend has been jam-packed with activities. I'll post again soon. In the meantime, to those of you who are taking it, I wish the best of luck on the New York State Bar Exam this week! You'll do fine. I had a bad experience when I took it - my period, always irregular, actually started while I was in the exam. It was stressful, disgusting and distracting. But hey - I passed! And you will, too. Godspeed. # 0 comments Friday, July 22, 2005 ( 9:13 AM ) teahouse Magic Bag A few months ago, I decided that I needed a large tote, like the ones that many women in New York carry while they're dashing around going to important meetings. Something like this bag. So I went to the Coach Store, and I looked at a bunch of handbags. I found a really cute one that was basically a cross between a purse and a briefcase. It was large enough to fit a laptop, and even came with a little tri-fold, sleek black pad to protect the laptop. And it had lots of pockets, large and small, along the inner lining, for carrying things. Perfect. After I bought it, I took it home, and read the label and manual that came with it. "We hope you enjoy your Coach diaper bag!" It read. "The perfect thing for mothers on the run!" Turns out the tri-fold cover was not for a laptop, but for putting down on surfaces to protect your baby's soft little bottom while changing diapers. And the pockets were large enough to carry bottles of many sizes. After the initial shock, I came to enjoy my diaper bag, and I adopted it for my purposes. I DID carry a laptop in it, and used the baby's bottom protector to protect my computer. I stuck my cell phone in one of the little bottle pockets. I brought it with me on vacation in Europe. During the trip, I could often be heard saying things like, "Hey, would you mind handing me the diaper bag? The Prague street map is in there." and "The diaper bag is heavy. It's your turn to carry it..." I think it's a magic bag. It will be a part of my life forever, adapting to suit my needs. I bet in 50 years, I'll discover that the pockets are a perfect size for bottles of cholesterol medication, and that the black pad will protect my dentures from damage during transit! # 0 comments Wednesday, July 20, 2005 ( 8:04 AM ) teahouse The Long Walk I've been tracking the story of this guy ever since I read about him in the NY Times a couple of weeks ago. He's trying to walk across America, starting in San Diego and ending in New York. This is his official site. It has maps of his route and a journal that his wife has been updating. It looks like it's been a tough journey so far. He's been plagued by blisters, a heavy pack, dehydration and the extreme heat. He was expecting to get to New York by October, but he's only in Arizona right now. My feet hurt just reading about it. I wish there was something I could do to help him! If I owned an enormous, souped-up RV, I'd be out there right now, driving alongside him. # 0 comments Tuesday, July 19, 2005 ( 8:47 AM ) teahouse Slim Pickings My friend J, who is newly divorced, was lamenting to me the other night about the dearth of eligible single men in New York. She's gone on a lot of bad dates in the last couple of months. She complains that the men are all shallow, not intellectual enough, only concerned with looks and incapable of intelligent conversation. I keep telling her that the timing is just not right. That she'll meet someone nice very soon. "Yeah," she said. "The blind guy who lives down the hall asked me out. I'm considering going out on a date with him." My reply? "Well, at least you know he won't just stare at your breasts all night." # 0 comments Monday, July 18, 2005 ( 12:02 AM ) teahouse Desperate Measures My parents are coming to visit me in a week. After 9 months abroad, they are returning to New York City for the summer. And they'll be crashing chez moi for the next 3 weeks. This was the last weekend I had to myself, to prepare my mind (and my apartment) for their arrival. Here are some of the things I did: 1. I went grocery shopping to stock up on nutritious foods that will satisfy their desire for home-cooked healthy meals, and convince them that I don't actually eat out every night like all New Yorkers do. In the same vein, I consumed all of the cans of cheap beer in my fridge. 2. I hired a militantly strict house cleaner, who came in, yelled at me like a drill sergeant while wielding a mop and bottle of bleach, and within 4 hours completely overhauled my entire apartment. I don't even recognize it anymore. 3. I paid all of my bills, donated all of my trashy paperback novels to charity and sent out tons of laundry and dry cleaning. 4. I researched short excursions OUTSIDE of New York City, to tempt them to leave town for a few days so I can have some blessed time alone. 5. I cleared the History on my Internet Explorer, lest they snoop around and discover my blog (posting may be sporadic during their visit, by the way). They're not Internet savvy, but I'm not taking any chances. 6. I enjoyed walking around my apartment in my underwear, preparing for the inability to strut around in this scandalous fashion while they're here. And, perhaps most important... 7. I tried to spend as much time with the Boy as possible, in anticipation of a lonely several weeks of not being able to have him stay over with me. The countown continues... # 0 comments Thursday, July 14, 2005 ( 8:49 AM ) teahouse I'm Not the Outdoorsy Type Last night I met some friends for a NY Philharmonic Concert on the Great Lawn of Central Park. Along with the crowd of several thousand, we brought blankets to sit in the grass, and of course, food and wine to enjoy during the concert. And I brought what I always bring - a bunch of citronella candles. As I mentioned before, no outdoor adventure is quite right without them. I surrounded our blankets with a ring of fire. My friends were indulgent. And it was a success! I only got 2 mosquito bites! # 0 comments Wednesday, July 13, 2005 ( 9:29 AM ) teahouse Flexing My Muscles I stopped by my apartment manager's office yesterday. Miss Manager is Mr. Landlord's hired bulldog. She's the one I have to deal with whenever problems arise. Mr. Landlord issues pronouncements from above, always keeping his hands clean and never getting involved. Miss Manager is very nice superficially, but we're not sure if she's just playing good cop to Mr. Landlord's bad cop. She says things like, "Ohh, we'll try my best to get you your money back. I don't know what the insurance company will say..they'll want to investigate it. We'll file the claim and try our best..." when we both know that he's responsible, regardless of whether his insurance company decides to pay him back. During our conversation I brought up casually, "So if you need to reach me about these reimbursements, call me at work. I'm an attorney, and..hey, did you know that my firm does work for [insert name of famous billionaire real estate mogul here]?" She kept smiling, but her face turned a little white. "Oh. I didn't know you were a lawyer.." she said. Three hours later, I got a call from her at work. "Mr. Landlord wanted you to know that you shouldn't worry about your losses. He is happy to reimburse you for whatever it cost you to replace your bedding and personal possessions." That's the first time that I've actually felt FEAR from someone upon finding out what I do for a living (even though my friends know I'm the most conflict-averse person I know). It felt kind of good. # 0 comments Tuesday, July 12, 2005 ( 11:25 AM ) teahouse The Blossom's Inferno I have a lot to deal with right now. So I don't have much to say today, except that there should be a special circle in Hell reserved for heinous landlords who have to be threatened with litigation before they pay for damage that's been incurred due to their gross negligence. # 0 comments Monday, July 11, 2005 ( 12:26 AM ) teahouse Here We Go Again My ceiling is leaking again. I got home late tonight to discover, to my horror, that my ceiling had sprung a new leak in the storm. My mattress, box spring, bed linens and dry cleaning (which I had left lying on the bed) were completely ruined. My entire apartment smells like mold. This is the 4th ceiling leak I've had this year. I am pissed off. I left an angry voicemail message for my landlord. AND I have to sleep on the couch tonight. # 0 comments Friday, July 08, 2005 ( 9:51 AM ) teahouse Low Bowl Our summer associates are here, and it reminds me of something that funny that happened to me last year at a summer associate event. So last summer, we had a summer associates event at a bowling alley. Because I'd been wearing strappy sandals to work lately, I had to buy bowling socks out of a machine. They were $3. I had only 2 singles. A second year associate (note, more junior than I was) standing next to me said, "Here, I can loan you a dollar for the machine." I thanked her, bought the socks, and wore them. At the end of the night, I threw them out (they were cheap and flimsy socks anyway). The next morning, as soon as I got in, I saw that she'd sent me an email. The time sent was 9 a.m. (Before I finish this story, I should note that second year associates at my firm at that point earned something like $140,000 a year. Now it's even more). "Dear THB," it read. "Not to be a bother, but I just wanted to remind you that I loaned you $1 for bowling socks last night." WTF? I stuck a $1 bill into an interoffice envelope and sent it to her. Then I forwarded her email to everyone I knew in the office. We all had a good laugh. One of my coworkers said, "You should have saved the dirty socks and sent those to her." # 0 comments Thursday, July 07, 2005 ( 9:23 AM ) teahouse London This is just so awful. When I was in London in February, the friends I stayed with lived in Russell Square. I usually take the bus or subway to work, but today I'm walking. # 0 comments Wednesday, July 06, 2005 ( 8:04 AM ) teahouse Super Freak I just found out that one of my nerdy male coworkers (in fact, a supervisor of mine on several projects) is auditioning for Beauty and the Geek. (THB rolls eyes and makes gagging sound). # 0 comments Monday, July 04, 2005 ( 1:08 AM ) teahouse July 4 Happy Independence Day, United States! In honor of the federal holiday, I, like most Americans, will be staying home from work, hanging out with friends and grilling goodies over a barbecue. I'm also taking an extra day off (Tuesday) to engage in another favorite American pasttime - outlet mall shopping. Happy 4th of July to everyone! # 0 comments Friday, July 01, 2005 ( 9:05 AM ) teahouse Please Speak Slowly Nothing sucks worse than spending a whole day trying to decipher instructions from a client..and then being told to call a foreign associate in Japan to figure it out. I was up until midnight on the phone with the people in Japan. I'm so tired right now, it feels like I'm jet lagged. For this trouble, shouldn't I at least have gotten a trip to Tokyo? # 0 comments |
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