Friday, April 07, 2006
( 8:06 AM ) teahouse
Those Damn Kids!!
I had orchestra rehearsal last night. On my way home, my plan was to stop at Tower Records to find a recording of one of the pieces we're doing.
Unfortunately, there was a huge crowd outside the store, blocking the front door and sidewalk.
It seemed to be a crowd of mostly screaming young women, holding up cell phone cameras and aiming them through the glass windows of the store. And shrieking at the top of their lungs.
Also, up and down Broadway there were movie filming trailers. Clearly, a movie was being filmed, and there was someone famous inside the store.
There was a makeshift sign taped to the front door of the store, saying that it had closed early.
Somone shouted, "Oh, my gawsh!!!! It's Hugh Grant!!" and the women screamed again and surged toward the front door.
I tried to get through the crowd, but there was no way around it. I was swept up and propelled forward by the wave of people.
My feet actually came up off the ground, and I came within inches of flying through the glass window into the store.
Only via some quick thinking, coupled with a clever maneuver I learned in tae kwon do, was I able to escape a grisly death and manage to land on my feet unharmed.
"Ok," I thought grimly. "No more Miss Nice Girl!"
I took my folded-up music stand out of my bag, held it with the sharp end pointed out, and jabbed my way down the sidewalk through the crowd.
I was a swashbuckler!!
Except that the whole time, I yelled like a crotchety old lady! I shook my fist. I used my instrument case as a battering ram, lowered my head, and barreled through.
Midriff-bared teenyboppers screamed and jumped out of my way as I razed through. Hairsprayed bangs and dangly earrings flew aside in my wake.
"You damn kids!" I shouted, as I extracted myself from the edge of the crowd and limped away.
I'm too old for this. #