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Tuesday, May 30, 2006 ( 7:59 AM ) teahouse Thanks for the Memories I had a really nice long weekend. It's always nice to have the extra Monday off for Memorial Day. The Sister came up to visit me. We ate lots of food, and took lots of great photos to send to our parents. Unfortunately, the weather was pretty brutal. Here in New York, it decided to skip from winter to summer. It was in the 90s for most of the weekend. So I have nice photos, but in all of them, I have a shiny, sweaty face. And sweat stains under my armpits. So much for the beautiful memories. # 0 comments Thursday, May 25, 2006 ( 9:15 AM ) teahouse Rebirth I spent part of yesterday in a fancy spa with a friend. We'd been meaning to treat ourselves for a while. We went all out. I got a facial, massage, full body salt scrub, manicure and pedicure, foot reflexology and a seaweed wrap. I'd never done the last thing before. It involves getting totally naked, being wrapped up like a burrito in a heated blanket, in a mixture of oils and seaweed paste, and lying there for an hour without moving. And sweating a lot. And not being able to scratch my nose when it itched. When they took me out of it, I felt like I was being born again. It was slimy, warm and dripping all over the place. But it felt pretty good afterward. Was the seaweed wrap fun and interesting? Yes. But would I do it again? Probably not. For one, it was the first time that a non-doctor or boyfriend male (albeit a gay spa employee), has ever seen my naked breasts. For some reason, I felt really shy about that. # 0 comments Tuesday, May 23, 2006 ( 9:14 AM ) teahouse  Not a Girl, Not Yet a WomanThe pigeon on my balcony has grown up fast during the past few days. As you can see from this photo, it's now beginning to look like an actual pigeon. But I'm not sure where exactly it has reached in its development. I'm hoping that it's a little older (i.e., its Britney Spears years) rather than younger (i.e., its Peter Brady voice-changing years or Frankie Muniz Malcolm-in-the-Middle years). Isn't it time you were off to college, little pigeon? Because the truth is, your room is a mess, and I'd kind of like you to leave, so I can clean it. Geez, I sound like his mother, don't I? # 0 comments Monday, May 22, 2006 ( 12:06 AM ) teahouse  Awwww Yeah Guess who just passed her belt promotion test? Bow chickie bow wow....Who's your Daddy? I'm such a stud. And don't I know it? Yes, feel free to applaud loudly. I promise, I won't let it go to my head. # 0 comments Friday, May 19, 2006 ( 8:45 AM ) teahouse  Last Action HeroI am now officially the hero of my tae kwon do school. Why? Not because of my martial arts abilities. It's because yesterday, the toilet in the ladies' dressing room was stopped up. Someone was going to call the plumber. But in the end, it wasn't necessary, because I plunged it and got it to work again. I have hidden talents, as many people do not know. I used to be squeamish about that sort of stuff, but living alone in a decrepit, run-down urban apartment with old plumbing will cure a girl of that rather quickly. # 0 comments Thursday, May 18, 2006 ( 9:16 AM ) teahouse Cultural Immersion I hung out with a friend of mine from law school last night. M is from the Midwest but moved to NYC last year to work in a big law firm. She told me her mom was in town with a couple of her girlfriends. They'd arrived Monday, it was their first time in New York, and they wanted to take us out to dinner. When we met up around 7 p.m., I asked the three ladies what they'd spent the past 2 days doing. "We spent 7 hours at Macy's today and 6 hours yesterday!" they exclaimed happily. "So you haven't seen anything else since you've been here?" I asked, incredulously. "Nope," one of them replied. "It's the biggest Macy's in the world! I'm in heaven! Look," she showed me. "I got this t-shirt that says I HEART NY! Isn't it the cutest thing you've ever seen?" Then they asked us for restaurant recommendations. I know my friend likes Japanese food, so I suggested several really good local places. "Hey," exclaimed one of them. "I have a great idea. If we want Japanese food, let's go to Benihana! There's one at home and it's really good!" My friend looked like she was going to sink into the ground. "Benihana is a chain!" she said, dismayed. "You can get it at home. Why don't we try somewhere that's new? We're in New York City. There are hundreds of really good locally owned restaurants here." "But Benihana is good!" insisted another lady. "It's so fun, and so cute how the chefs cook the food in front of you and throw it at you!" So yeah, that's where we ended up. My first time. But it was a fun night. We all got really drunk, and the food was pretty good. My friend was livid, but I had a really nice time, and I thanked her mom for the dinner invitation. I'm going to take a wild guess and predict that they will expand their horizons and go to McDonald's for breakfast this morning. # 0 comments Wednesday, May 17, 2006 ( 9:05 AM ) teahouse Burn Baby Burn It never ends. I swear, I couldn't make this story up. Last night I decided to sit out on my balcony with a glass of wine and a book, to enjoy the sunset and keep my pet pigeon company. I lit a citronella candle, since there were mosquitoes. At one point, I put my book down and went inside to use the bathroom and start cooking dinner. 10 minutes later, my buzzer rang. It was my doorman. He sounded agitated. "Do you have a fire in your apartment?" he yelled. "Uh, no," I responded. "Well, someone called and reported a fire. I have 6 fire trucks in front of the building, 2 cop cars with sirens, and the firefighters are on their way up to your apartment. Let them in; otherwise they'll break down the door!" Then he hung up. I went to the door. Sure enough, there were 2 (very young and handsome) firefighters in the hallway. They came in and said, "Someone across the street called us and said there was smoke coming from your balcony. You don't have a barbecue, do you?" I let them into my apartment, and pointed at the balcony. They walked out and took one look at my citronella candle, which is a total of 3 inches in diameter. "Ugh," one of them said. "The neighbor called us because of this? I can't friggin' believe it." They stood on the balcony for a few minutes, calling their walkie talkies. "It's a false alarm! It's a candle! What idiot called us? We got six fire trucks out front!" Then they turned to me. "Sorry for bothering you, ma'am." "It's ok," I shrugged. "Sorry you went to all that trouble for nothing. But you know what? I have a baby pigeon on my balcony!" "Oh, look at that!" one of them said, spotting the nest. "Pretty cool. I always wondered why you never see baby pigeons." They both stood staring at the baby pigeon for a minute, and then said goodby to me and left. # 0 comments Tuesday, May 16, 2006 ( 9:20 AM ) teahouse  Doin' the *Wha Wha* PigeonOver the weekend I was out on my balcony, sweeping away the dead leaves and twigs, when lo and behold, I saw in the corner, a nest with a baby pigeon in it! So now I know the answer to the universal question: Why don't we ever see baby pigeons? To be honest, it was an ugly little critter. And obviously very scared of me. And of course I can't get rid of it for moral reasons.. Moving the nest would kill it. Cleaning the area around it might scare off the parents, and then they won't come back and feed it, and then it will die anyway, and I'll have a dead bird on my balcony. And I don't want to go to hell for killing a baby bird. Neither does anyone on the maintenance crew of my building, apparently. They told me to just wait it out, let it grow up and fly away in a few days, and then give my balcony a good cleaning with a scrub brush and some ammonia. So, for reasons of not wanting to go to hell - and also because it was Mother's Day - I let the bird stay. I hope this baby grows up fast. Hey little bird: life in the streets is tough! And the younger you learn it, the better. # 0 comments Sunday, May 14, 2006 ( 1:53 PM ) teahouse Happy Mommy's Day! Hope everyone is having a good one! Last night I called my parents trans-Pacific to wish my mother a happy Mother's Day. We discovered Skype recently. It's awesome. It's better than using the telephone. So my dad and I both bought webcams with microphones last month, and now I can use this program to talk to my parents (actually hear their voices) AND see them waving at me! Oh, the wonders of modern technology. It's like being in 2001: A Space Odyssey or The Jetsons. I just have to be careful that I'm not naked while sitting at the computer. And that I clean my living room - otherwise they can see the messiness behind me through the webcam, and they'll nag me. So today, I was woken up by the sounds of screaming babies. 3 of my neighbors obviously have young children visiting them. Which I don't understand, because they're all youngish women (in their 30s or 40s). Are their estranged children visiting them for Mother's Day? Are they babysitting their friends'/relatives' kids so their friends/relatives can go out to brunch? Are they divorced but have custody of the children only on this day? # 0 comments Friday, May 12, 2006 ( 6:14 AM ) teahouse  Super Decoder!One of the Boy's friends just got married. He told the Boy that the key to keeping his then-fiancee (now wife) happy with the engagement was that he promised he'd spend MORE money on her engagement ring than he had spent on his most prized possession - his super-fancy flat screen television. Apparently he'd spent more than $10,000 on the tv. So she was happy with her ring. If that's the standard, then I'm in trouble. The Boy bought his tv second-hand from a friend of mine for $100. Hahaha. I think the guy I dated before him inherited his tv from his grandparents. And the one before that got his tv as a present from his mom. And the one before that shared a tv with his roommate. It was a tv they picked up in a junk pile outside of their apartment building, and whose reception they enhanced significantly with the aid of a wire coat hanger and some duct tape. But they all had nice cars. # 0 comments Wednesday, May 10, 2006 ( 9:01 AM ) teahouse  Side By SideHere's a photo of the Boy and me taking a walk last week. I thought it would be cool to snap this photo while we were walking. We were on his college campus, so there are chalk-written announcements on the ground. Remember in college, when the clubs would always graffiti the campus roads and sidewalks with meeting notices? I like this photo because it's artistic. I look like I have super-long fingers, and the Boy looks like he has stumps for arms. My coat flares out like I'm wearing a ball gown. And that lump on the right is my purse. I also like the photo because it makes me look tall, almost his height. # 0 comments Tuesday, May 09, 2006 ( 8:59 AM ) teahouse Her Pan-Racial Loveliness I think I have a girl crush on Soledad O'Brien. Ever since Stephen Colbert started talking about how much he likes her. He says, "Someday we will all look like Soledad O'Brien." She's sooo beautiful! I saw her once in a restaurant near Rockefeller Center. She's such as beautiful in person. Ok, I'll stop now. I don't want to miss any of American Morning. # 0 comments Monday, May 08, 2006 ( 7:28 AM ) teahouse Pretty Package I went on a job interview the other day. I carried a really nice leather briefcase that my parents gave me to celebrate my law school graduation several years ago. "That's really nice," remarked one of the lawyers who was interviewing me. "Did you bring some work to do during the train ride here?" "No," I replied. "Actually, I needed something to use to carry my tae kwon do uniform." # 0 comments Friday, May 05, 2006 ( 12:02 AM ) teahouse  The Man in the BubbleHey, I'm back in business! All computer problems have been resolved. The Boy and I took a walk a couple of nights ago. David Blaine has established residency in my neighborhood for the next week. We decided to be clever and go late at night, when we figured the crowd would be smaller. But we were wrong. It was packed! We went up as close as we could to the tank where he was submerged. I asked the Boy to take a photo with his cell phone camera. He took several, but they didn't come out so well. "It's ok," he shrugged. "We'll just come back tomorrow night and try with a better camera... ...I mean, It's not like he's going anywhere between now and then." That remark prompted guffaws from an old woman limping by with a walker. # 0 comments Tuesday, May 02, 2006 ( 1:36 PM ) teahouse Stupid Minor Setback!! Yeah, posting will be spotty this week. I'm having computer issues..hopefully they'll be resolved soon and I'll be back to my normal chatty self. Please stay tuned for further updates on THB's crazy life. In the meantime, construction on the Freedom Tower has begun! I saw the construction crews yesterday when I was in downtown Manhattan. I'll be back as soon as I can... # 0 comments |
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