Wednesday, May 17, 2006
( 9:05 AM ) teahouse
Burn Baby Burn
It never ends. I swear, I couldn't make this story up.
Last night I decided to sit out on my balcony with a glass of wine and a book, to enjoy the sunset and keep my pet pigeon company.
I lit a citronella candle, since there were mosquitoes.
At one point, I put my book down and went inside to use the bathroom and start cooking dinner.
10 minutes later, my buzzer rang.
It was my doorman. He sounded agitated.
"Do you have a fire in your apartment?" he yelled.
"Uh, no," I responded.
"Well, someone called and reported a fire. I have 6 fire trucks in front of the building, 2 cop cars with sirens, and the firefighters are on their way up to your apartment. Let them in; otherwise they'll break down the door!" Then he hung up.
I went to the door. Sure enough, there were 2 (very young and handsome) firefighters in the hallway.
They came in and said, "Someone across the street called us and said there was smoke coming from your balcony. You don't have a barbecue, do you?"
I let them into my apartment, and pointed at the balcony. They walked out and took one look at my citronella candle, which is a total of 3 inches in diameter.
"Ugh," one of them said. "The neighbor called us because of this? I can't friggin' believe it."
They stood on the balcony for a few minutes, calling their walkie talkies. "It's a false alarm! It's a candle! What idiot called us? We got six fire trucks out front!" Then they turned to me. "Sorry for bothering you, ma'am."
"It's ok," I shrugged. "Sorry you went to all that trouble for nothing. But you know what? I have a baby pigeon on my balcony!"
"Oh, look at that!" one of them said, spotting the nest. "Pretty cool. I always wondered why you never see baby pigeons."
They both stood staring at the baby pigeon for a minute, and then said goodby to me and left. #