Friday, August 11, 2006

      ( 10:56 PM ) teahouse
Interracial Coffee

Dear Starbucks:

You know what really annoys me?

When I go to one of your locations and ask for a cafe au lait, and your employees give me a blank look and then say, "We don't serve that. Oh, you mean a cafe misto!"

Like, whatever. You, evil large corporation, just made that phrase up. How can you work in a coffee shop and not know the meaning of the term "CAFE AU LAIT"????

And I looked up the word "misto." Yeah, the word means "interracial," "half-breed," "half-caste" and "mixed blood."

Lovely. Is that the connotation you want to give with your coffee, Starbucks? It sounds highly perjorative. What do you have against people of mixed race?

Not only do I have to put up with your surly servers; but now you're using random words that you randomly put together for NO REASON WHATSOEVER. Except to be pretentious.

Like your "tall" and "grande" and "venti" crap. I refuse to order a "venti" anything because I object to the random use of an Italian number to identify anything that's supposed to be a volume adjective. I'm a scientist. If you don't define the units, it's a unitless measurement! Get your science straight, Starbucks!!!

And I refuse to call my favorite coffee drink anything other than a cafe au lait.

Even the servers at the independent coffee shop down the street, who write down, "Cafe Ole!" when I order, still make me cringe, but at least they're PRONOUNCING it right.

Now gimme my $4 cup of coffee and get the hell out of my way.

Surly morning commuter.



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THIRTYSOMETHING (!!) year old Asian American New Yorker, lawyer, amateur musician, curious girl taking a bite out of the Big Apple. Don't mess with me - I'm short and I look demure, but I carry a big purse. And I've just embarked on the journey of married life in Manhattan.

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