( 7:02 AM ) teahouse
Puking Down Memory Lane
Well, I'm back, and feeling much better.
Debbie's recent post reminded me of my worst puking story.
I was 13 and woke up puking in the middle of the night. And I had a mouth full of braces and my headgear strapped to my head - the kind that went over the top of my head - no pansy-ass neckgear for me; I had the full multiple strapped helmet-like contraption that messed up my hair for 3 years (I'm still bitter towards my orthodontist for ruining my social life in junior high).
And I sat up suddenly and started vomiting my dinner at 2 a.m., and I couldn't get my stupid headgear off. I was simultaneously grabbing at the sides of my head, tugging at those awful rubber bands that kept it in place and had somehow gotten gnarled in my hair, and choking on the river of grossness that was hurling out of my mouth at 100 mph.
It was mostly solid, and so it got stuck in the front of my headgear, hanging off my lips and partially blocking my mouth. For a moment I thought I was going to choke to death. I remember screaming for my parents, and hearing the scream come out in a half-choked gurgle.
Then I flailed a little, and kicked a lot, and a few seconds later I saw the light go on and my parents run in, and then I felt two pairs of hands yanking off the headgear.
My mom had to spend a while wiping the vomit off the bed and floor. Nothing like a mother's love.
Yes, that was the night I almost choked to death in my own vomit.
But luckily, I didn't. So I'm alive to tell this story. And my teeth are straight.
Now, who can beat THAT puking story?
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