Thursday, October 11, 2007
( 10:45 PM ) teahouse
For the past year, most of my salary has been channeled into feeding the Mortgage Monster.
It really sucks that my friends who live in the burbs enjoy lots of space and great lifestyles. Whenever they come into the City, they eat at fancy restaurants and blow money on Broadway shows and gratuitous taxi rides.
Meanwhile, I live in the middle of it all, and I have macaroni and cheese for dinner every night, rescue furniture from the dumpster and borrow videotapes from the library.
So I'm trying to refinance my mortgage, in an effort to take advantage of the increased equity in my place and get my monthly payments down.
For those of you who have never refinanced a mortgage, the requirements are strangely onerous. For me, it's already worse than applying for an original mortgage was.
Maybe it's the equivalent of getting married for a second or third time - in contrast to their attitude of eagerness for signing up first-time homebuyers, the banks really want to look closely at why you and your first mortgage are calling it quits.
Was the first mortgage too flirtatious for you? Did it spend nights out at bars hitting on other homeowners while you sat up waiting for it?
Was it really looking for only a 3, 5 or 7 year commitment while you wanted something along the line of 30 years? Did it strong-ARM you into a situation you weren't ready for the first time around?
Or were YOU the one with the commitment problems? Did you not tell it about that secret credit card balance you had? Did you buy it a ring you couldn't really afford?
At any rate, I have been filling out the forms and gathering up the documents, but somewhere between looking for the last 3 paycheck stubs from my second-most-recent previous employer and my immunization record from elementary school, I thought, Dammit..maybe this won't work.
Maybe me and my first mortgage need to give it another chance. I don't want to be a multiple mortgage floozy. I don't want to get a reputation here.
Maybe my mortgage and I need to kiss and make up, and both resolve to try harder in the future. #