Wednesday, November 28, 2007
( 12:02 AM ) teahouse
I Should Have Known!!
This morning, as I was driving to work, I got stuck behind a car that was going really erratically.
The driver was clearly unfamiliar with the road, or just couldn't drive. The car was going 25 mph in a 40 mph zone. The driver kept hitting the brakes randomly.
The driver (I couldn't tell if it was a man or a woman) almost ran over a couple of pedestrians in a clearly-marked crosswalk.
Then he or she yielded to another driver making a left turn, only to surge ahead suddenly at the last minute and come with a few inches of a collision, prompting an angry and perplexed look from the other driver.
I kept trying to pass this idiot, but I couldn't manage to do it.
Finally, a mile from my office I was able to get into the left lane and pass the car.
I shot an angry look at the driver as I drove past.
OF COURSE it was an Asian woman!! She was elderly, looked confused, and was so short she could barely look over the steering wheel.
Typical!! Everyone knows Asian women can't drive!!
That's why there are schools like this:
Sunday, November 25, 2007
( 10:11 PM ) teahouse
I have a theory that you can tell a lot about somebody by what they've got stuck to the front of their refrigerator.
Well, here's a photo of mine. As you can see, it's like my life - crazy and cluttered.
It's covered with all kinds of cool magnets I've collected in my world travels. There are some postcards, and magnets from many places I've visited (such as Vienna, San Francisco, Leipzig, Fort Sumter in South Carolina), and remnants of an old magnetic poetry set.
There's a magnet of St. Francis of Assisi. And a magnet someone gave me with a funny description of my astrological sign. And one with a girl holding up a flute and piccolo, with the caption, "Size matters."
And another one showing 2 girls with the caption, "First, we get better grades than the boys. Then we take their jobs."
And my favorite - a magnet showing 2 tuna rolls on a bed, with the caption, "Wake up, Little Sushi."
And there's a photo of my beloved grandfather, who passed away 6 years ago.
And if you look closely, you can see a photo of the Fiance and me. But our faces are covered with an official United States Congress refrigerator magnet, which was a gift from the Sister (she works on Capitol Hill).
So what does the front of your refrigerator look like? Is it completely bare (like the refrigerator of a serial killer who just uses it to store chopped-up body parts, and can't be bothered), or covered with stuff like mine? If you have kids, do you keep their schedules on it? Do you keep a shopping list? #
Thursday, November 22, 2007
( 9:42 AM ) teahouse
...For so many things this year!
I'm thankful for my family and their health; for my sister and her boyfriend, who drove up to the Big Apple last night to spend Thanksgiving with me even though they had about a dozen other invitations for Thanksgiving dinner; for the fact that we're going to go running in Central Park today after the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
I'm thankful for the love I feel from my friends and family; for my Fiance with whom I'll be spending the rest of my life; for the opportunity to work and make a good living.
For my lovely apartment that's in a great location, and for which I've worked so hard to pay the mortgage on my little piece of Manhattan.
For the awesome operas I've been to see this past year - Vanessa and The Marriage of Figaro and Jenufa and Cosi fan Tutte and The Pirates of Penzance and The Mikado.
For the ability to listen to and enjoy opera. For the fact that my health is good enough so I can climb the stairs all the way up to the nosebleed section when I go.
For my friends, online and in everyday life and in work. May you all feel as thankful as I am.
I have so many more things to be thankful for, but I have to go and start Thanksgiving dinner!
I hope everyone has a lovely day. #
Monday, November 19, 2007
( 8:38 PM ) teahouse
Achey Breaky Legs
Thanks everyone for the emotional support, for which I feel truly blessed.
SheilaO was right. Only a crisis of faith should immobilize me. So wherever you are, you wise woman, I thank you.
This weekend I ran a 4-mile race in Central Park. Not having run a race in almost a year, my time and pace were abysmal.
But I didn't care. Because I felt great afterwards. And the Fiance even braved the cold to cheer for me at the finish line!
And when I was running, I felt free and light like I'd never felt before. Like I could have kept on running forever.
When I rounded the bend toward the finish line, and I saw the Fiance standing there, cheering for me wearing his dorky large hat he bought when we were in Central America and were climbing a volcano (he had to buy it because it was the only time in his life he'd found a hat to fit his large head - and after he washed it last week it shrank so now it's too small) and his trench coat that makes him look like a flasher, my heart swelled with affection.
And I thought, it doesn't matter what happens to us in my career or in this life; he is there for me through my work crises and we have each other and we're gettin' hitched soon and everything else is just background noise.
And I felt as light as a feather.
Well, that is until this morning when my entire body ached and I was hobbling around like an old woman for most of the day. #
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
( 7:56 PM ) teahouse
They say that if a girl lives in a big city and has: (1) a love life; (2) an apartment; and (3) a job, all three will NEVER be working well at the same time.
It's like a law of nature. At least one thing has to be in turmoil or flux at all times.
A couple of years ago my job was going great. But then I broke up with a boyfriend. And then one night the ceiling of my rental apartment leaked moldy rainwater all over my bedroom, ruining the ceiling, the floor and all of the clothes in my closet.
A few months after that, I met the Fiance, and then I bought my lovely apartment. But then things got really bad and stressful at work, and I had to switch jobs.
Right now, I'm going through another one of those cycles.
It's like a zero sum game. In certain of these aspects of my life, things are going wonderfully.
But in others, I feel like the girl in this Camille Claudel sculpture I saw at the Musee d'Orsay:
In other words, trapped in hard stone or concrete with my head sticking out, but totally immobile.
Anyone have a pickaxe or a chainsaw, and want to help a girl out?#
Sunday, November 11, 2007
( 9:29 PM ) teahouse
Now That You Put it That Way...
Yesterday I was walking down the street in the East Village when a homeless man crouched on the sidewalk muttered to me, "Spare some change, please? I'm broke and hungry."
I stopped and addressed him. "I'm really sorry, but I can't. I'm flat broke. I'm overdrawn on my checking account, have almost $100,000 in student loan debt, haven't paid this month's credit card bills, and I owe another half a million on my mortgage. I have a dollar in my wallet but I need it to buy a subway ride home. I have less than you."
"Yeah, you got problems, miss," said the homeless guy. "Worse than me. Good luck to you." #
Friday, November 09, 2007
( 6:50 AM ) teahouse
Keeping it Light
Reason # 47 I love the Fiance: He makes me laugh, despite the stress of my work life.
THB (on phone): I don't think I've been getting enough Vitamin B. Must be the stress and lack of sleep. I have a crack on the corner of my mouth.
THB's Fiance: A crack? What does it look like? Is it like a butt crack? #
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
( 12:03 AM ) teahouse
My dentist recently sent me to see an orthodontist, since my teeth have been moving a lot lately.
I had really bad teeth as a kid. I had to get the works - braces, a bite plate, headgear, rubber bands.
This was in 1987. My parents spent over $3,000 on my braces and other paraphernalia. Extrapolated to today's dollars, that's like the equivalent of a kid's private college tuition.
For three years, my head was in what amounted to a full skull sling. The leather straps gave me permanent headgear hair. I could barely talk, and often drooled. I was hideous, pimply and scary.
After all of that came off, I was in high school, and blossomed into a lovely young woman, blah blah blah.
Anyway, fast forward 20 years. This new orthodontist has told me that due to an inherent jaw problem, it will be necessary for me to get braces again. It's not just a cosmetic thing; it's to prevent the front teeth from falling out of the skull. The total cost will be around $10,000.
The Fiance and I have discussed it, and agreed that it will be our first major expense post-wedding.
I can just see it now.
"Sorry kid..we can't send you to nursery school because we're fixing Mommy's jaw. Yes, your education is important, but so is Mommy's ability to open her mouth, right?"
"We have to live in New Jersey because we can't afford a down payment on a place in Manhattan. With dental bills for your mother being what they are."
"Smoothies for dinner, everyone! Mommy just got her braces tightened! Who wants to help her put in her rubber bands tonight?"
I feel very glum about the whole thing. #
Sunday, November 04, 2007
( 10:42 PM ) teahouse
From the Grave He Haunts Me
I'm not a superstitious person, but as I write this, I'm sitting alone in my apartment late at night..and I swear there's a sound coming from the apartment above me that sounds like the rattling of chains.
Is there a ghost up there?
My upstairs neighbor had a water leak in his bathroom about a year ago (I'm convinced he had a poltergeist in his apartment). It dripped through his floor and damaged the ceiling in my bathroom and bedroom.
When I asked him to pay for the damage, he got downright nasty about it. After a couple of weeks of back and forth, he agreed to pay half of my deductible for my homeowner's insurance.
He sent me a check with my name spelled wrong on it.
By the time all of it was straightened out, I was so angry at the man I would have been happy never to see him again.
A month later, I heard the news from my doorman - he had died.
So his apartment has been vacant for the last 9 months or so.
There is the rattling of chains. There are eerie footsteps. There is the sound of what seems to be something being dragged across a wood floor.
I just know I won't get any sleep.
I want to yell up at the ceiling, "Hey! Halloween was LAST WEEK!" #
Thursday, November 01, 2007
( 10:34 PM ) teahouse
Alive and Kicking
I'm still around, friends!
It's just been a tough week at work. I haven't gotten much sleep.
I've been so tired and run down, that I've started making stupid mistakes.
Yesterday I was drafting a professional recommendation letter for a friend.
Thankfully, I read it over right before I signed it. I noticed a particular sentence I'd written.
I'd typed, "His career at XYZ Company has been highly extinguished."
I'd meant to say "highly distinguished!!!"
Yeah...glad I caught that before I sent it out. #