Thursday, October 30, 2008
( 12:11 AM ) teahouse
It's the Hard Knock Life
There's been a lot of talk recently about how our economy is tanking and tough times are ahead.
Some say we're headed for another Great Depression.
That we might all end up in bread lines again, like in the 1930s.
That in this election, we need to elect someone who will be another FDR.
That maybe we need to send Little Orphan Annie to the next President to talk to him, and they can work out a solution.
And after she and the President figure out everything together, it will all be ok.
Friday, October 24, 2008
( 12:03 AM ) teahouse
A recent post by Ming reminded me of a story I have about a doppelganger.
When I was in law school, people used to confuse me with another girl in my class.
We didn't look anything alike, apart from the fact that we were both Asian.
And our personalities were very different. Let's just say that she got around a lot more than I did.
I have two stories about this girl:
The first month of school, a fancy local law firm hosted a reception for law students. It was at a nice hotel with a fountain in front.
Unfortunately I was unable to make it. But this girl did attend. What's more, she got totally drunk, took off her dress and jumped into the fountain, in front of a bunch of horrified lawyers.
The next day, the head of Career Services saw me in the hallway at school and said, "Well, you had a little bit too much to drink last night, didn't you?" I told her I had no idea what she was talking about. It took me weeks to convince people that it wasn't me.
A good friend of mine from my law school class mentioned me to another classmate. She said, "Oh, I'm going to the library to meet up with THB to study Criminal Law."
"Oh, that girl THB," said this classmate. "I don't like her. She's a big skank!"
He realized later that he meant this other girl, not me.
This girl made Law Review, and I didn't. NOBODY congratulated me on making Law Review.
Bah! Why didn't anyone confuse us when it was something good? #
Monday, October 20, 2008
( 9:46 PM ) teahouse
Love to Hate It
The Magnolia Bakery just opened a new location near my office.
I love to hate the Magnolia Bakery. There's one near my apartment, and I've always thought the place is pretentious and overpriced.
Real bakeries don't stay open until 11 p.m. And they're not staffed by young hotties wearing head hankerchiefs. And they actually sell bread.
My grandfather was a baker. His entire career he woke up at 3 a.m. and baked until noon. He shaped a thousand rolls a day with his bare hands.
If you got to his bakery after 2 p.m., you were SOL because there was nothing left. And if you whined that you wanted a cupcake, my grandmother would yell at you and chase you out of their store.
Yes, I know the baker gene in me should hate the Magnolia Bakery.
At the same time, I can't stop eating their cupcakes. I'm addicted.
It's a love/hate thing. Shhh..don't tell my grandparents. #
Thursday, October 16, 2008
( 12:03 AM ) teahouse
I bought a couple of new sweaters last weekend.
Yesterday I wore one of my nice new sweaters to work. It was very cute - bright colors, which made me feel optimistic and happy on a cloudy day.
It was also a little form-fitting, which made me feel slightly sexy.
I was walking around smiling and happy, when one of the junior partners saw me, glanced down at my chest for a split second, and then looked up and asked, "Is that a new sweater?"
"Oh, yes!" I said happily. "How could you tell?"
He looked uncomfortable. "Uh, lucky guess!" he said, brightly, and turned and ran away quickly.
Then I went into the ladies room, looked in the mirror and gasped in horror.
There was a little, round "Medium" sticker stuck on the sweater, right over my left nipple. #
Monday, October 13, 2008
( 12:02 AM ) teahouse
Full of Grace
Over the weekend I was flipping channels when I caught this movie.
Talk about a moving cinematic experience. It made me realize that my life is pretty easy compared to the lives of millions of people around the world.
Apart from the obvious illegality issues, there is no way I could be a drug mule. I can't even swallow a Centrum without having to cut it in half.
I remember reading this case in Constitutional Law while in law school.
All I could think about was that the woman in the case was caught with her crotch lined with paper towels.
What was her story? How desperate did she feel that she undertook this job? What drove her to make these types of choices? #
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
( 12:08 AM ) teahouse
A Woman Obsessed
Recently I've become obsessed with recycling plastic bottles.
I've read all of the statistics - our nation's devotion to bottled water is destroying the environment. Most plastic bottles never get recycled.
I've started pushing New York City tap water to anyone who will listen.
I'm considering buying one of these non-plastic water bottles to carry around.
I've taken to pawing through the New York City trash cans and fishing out plastic bottles, to take home to my apartment and throw into the recycle bin.
If you see a crazy-looking Asian woman running around picking up bottles in Central Park, it's probably me.
And no, I'm not a bag lady. I'm just trying to do my part to save our Big Blue Marble.
Sunday, October 05, 2008
( 10:27 PM ) teahouse
I'm Crying, Crying
Over the weekend, I was flipping channels when I saw that The Notebook was on tv.
"Isn't that the cheesy movie based on the even cheesier Nicholas Sparks book?" asked the Husband.
"Yes," I said. We both rolled our eyes and snorted in derision.
An hour and a half later, as the end credits rolled, we were both BAWLING.
I had to go to the kitchen pantry and open up a new box of tissue.
"You can't tell anybody about this," the Husband muttered, as he blew his nose for the 10th time.
"No, never!" I sobbed.#