Thursday, December 31, 2009
( 12:06 AM ) teahouse
The High Price of Fashion
Much as I hated it, and much as I tried to take this whole week off from work, I actually had to go into the office today.
While walking through a particularly toursity part of New York City on my way in, I passed a group of young female tourists.
I heard one of them whine to the others, "I don't care how much these Uggs hurt my feet! I'm going to wear them for the rest of the day because they are so cool! All the celebrities wear them!"
She was referring to this popular and expensive brand of sheepskin boots, which were clad on her feet.
Huh? I thought that the whole point of wearing those types of boots was for comfort.
If your Uggs are making your feet hurt, you might as well be wearing stilettos!#
Friday, December 25, 2009
( 11:02 AM ) teahouse
Merry Merry Christmas!
Today is Christmas!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
( 1:00 AM ) teahouse
Take It From Me, Parents Just Don't Understand
You know how your parents can uniquely torture and upset you, the way nobody else can?
Tonight I got into the biggest fight I can remember with my dad, over the phone.
I was talking about something totally innocuous, but then something randomly set him off and he started yelling at me.
He yelled and yelled and yelled. Finally I was tired of it, so I yelled back, and then we hung up on each other.
My mom called me an hour later.
"Don't worry about it," she said soothingly. "He has a toothache so he's been in a bad mood all week."
Friday, December 18, 2009
( 12:07 AM ) teahouse
The Gift That Keeps On Giving
In 2001, my identity was stolen.
A couple of criminals followed me and my friend into a restaurant in Times Square. They saw where we sat, and then sat at the very next table.
One of them sat with his back to me, leaned back, unzipped my purse (it was hanging on the back of my chair), grabbed my wallet, and then the two of them casually stood up and walked out of the restaurant.
By the time I got up to leave, and realized my wallet was missing, they were long gone.
It was quite an ordeal. To make a long story short, they used my i.d. to obtain instant credit all over New York City, and made off with over $20,000 worth of merchandise.
They ruined my credit and caused me years of hassle, fraud alerts, phone calls to creditors and identity theft monitoring, cleaning it all up.
One of the things they bought was a brand new camcorder from an electronics store.
And along with it, they bought an extended warranty!
Why on earth would they do that? It's not as if they could benefit from it.
This week, I got a letter in the mail.
Dear Ms. THB, it read. We wanted to inform you that the extended warranty for your camcorder is about to expire! If you want to extend it at a low price of $59.99 for another 5 years, please call this 1-800 number! This is not an opportunity to be missed!
It's been nearly 10 years, and still it won't go away. Sigh. #
Saturday, December 12, 2009
( 11:01 AM ) teahouse
So I got the swine flu vaccination yesterday.
I was at the doctor's office anyway, and the nurse asked me if I wanted it, since they have it available, sent to them for free by the government.
So I said sure, and she did it.
I had to sign a waiver acknowledging that for some recipients of the vaccination, potential side effects include paralysis and death.
"We haven't had any of that happen yet," the nurse assured me, cheerfully, a half second before plunging the needle into my arm.
I felt fine afterwards.
Well, except that I felt very warm, and to cool down, I decided to take a mud bath.
And my belly itched, so I found it very pleasant to lie on the floor and scratch it on the side of the living room sofa.
And when a friend told me a funny joke over the phone, I snorted in laughter.
And I think I might have sprouted a little curly tail out of the back of my pants.
And last night when the Husband and I disagreed on what to have for dinner, I got very indignant and before I knew it, I was yelling, "Squeeeeeeeee!!!! Squeeeeeeeeeee!!! #
Monday, December 07, 2009
( 12:06 AM ) teahouse
The Green Eyed Monster
Over the weekend I went to visit a friend who just had a baby.
This is a good friend of mine, from college. She and I have been close for many years. We were both in each other's wedding parties, and we often double date with our husbands.
And this friend of mine is one of those perfect people. Those people you're always secretly jealous of, because their lives are so, well, perfect.
She grew up in a wealthy family with doting parents. She's drop-dead gorgeous and brilliant.
She did really well in college, graduating summa cum laude and Phi Beta Kappa. She went to one of the top law schools in the U.S.
She clerked for a federal judge after law school, gaining experience and making great connections. She went from there to one of the top law firms in the country.
She married her college sweetheart, a man she'd known since elementary school and had been friends with before their friendship blossomed into something deeper. Her husband is smart, funny, handsome and completely crazy about her. They had an expensive, elegant and lovely wedding, paid for by her parents.
Her husband is a vice president of something-something for a something-fund (I never know what those financial people do). They're not hurting for money.
Last year they bought a beautiful classic six on the Upper East Side, had it renovated expensively and tastefully, and threw the housewarming party of the year when they moved in.
Once they decided to have a baby, they had absolutely zero trouble getting pregnant.
She had a stress-free and uneventful pregnancy. A week before her due date, her baby turned over and positioned itself head down, in the ideal position to deliver.
Her labor lasted 6 hours, no complications.
Her baby is beautiful and well-behaved.
Oh, and last week, while she was still on maternity leave, she got a call from her firm. They just made her a partner.
I swear, if she and I weren't such good friends, I would hate her!
Is it bad to feel jealous? #