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Monday, October 31, 2005 ( 8:48 AM ) teahouse Discomfort Last week I had to sit in a partner's office for half an hour while he ripped me a new one, telling me how badly my draft was written, how disappointed he was, and how I had to rewrite it. It was uncomfortable. Right afterward, I went to get my flu shot - the firm ordered a bunch and let us get them if we wanted. They were administered by 2 nurses sitting side-by-side in a conference room. Lo and behold, that same partner was standing next to me in line for the shot. We sat down at the same time, with the 2 adjacent nurses. "Ok, honey, your shirt sleeves are too tight," said one of them to me. "Please lift your shirt so I can reach your shoulder." Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I had to flash the same partner while getting my shot. I was glad I'd worn my nice bra that day. # 0 comments Thursday, October 27, 2005 ( 9:03 AM ) teahouse Backhanded My firm had its second tennis match of the season earlier this week. We play in a league with some other companies, mostly law firms, at a tennis club out in Queens. Last week we played hoity toity snooty Manhattan law firm. They looked good, but they weren't very good at tennis. So we creamed them. This week we played an insurance and brokerage company that works out of warehouses in Weehawken and Jersey City. Slightly shady. But they were a scrappy bunch. They killed us. Afterwards, we had a car service take us home. Halfway to Manhattan, my teammates and I realized we'd taken the wrong car from the parking lot. It wasn't even from the right car company. The driver said, "My instructions were to pick up a party named Garcia." Message to Garcia - I'm sorry we took your car and left you stranded in Long Island City at 11 p.m. I know you're probably out there cursing the lawyers who drove off in the car you ordered. But it wasn't on purpose. I'll buy you a drink if I ever meet you. # 0 comments Wednesday, October 26, 2005 ( 9:24 AM ) teahouse Pack Rat Over the past few weeks, my keychain has grown monstrously in size. I have more keys than the Super in my building. There are the keys for my new apartment, the keys for my old apartment (that hasn't been taken over by another tenant yet). There's a key to my gym locker. And there are a bunch of random ones, to things I haven't been able to figure out. One I believe may be the key to my bicycle lock from college. Another one could be the key to the front door of my apartment in law school. Another might be the key to my parents' car, which was sold last year. But I'm not positive. And what if I have to use them someday? I know, I know. I should get rid of them. "Is that a humongous monster set of keys in your pocket? Or are you just glad to see me? Or are you just THB who can't throw anything away?" # 0 comments Tuesday, October 25, 2005 ( 10:00 AM ) teahouse And I Feel Fine Wow, look at that time. The Boy stayed over last night, and he and I JUST woke up. We both slept through my alarm. And I have to admit, we both feel FANTASTIC. Even though we're both going to be about 2 hours late for work. We've both had really bad months at work. I mean, really, really horribly bad months. Months that make you say to yourself, "Maybe I'll march in tomorrow and just quit on the spot, because I honestly don't care if I don't have another job lined up. And while I'm quitting, I'm going to give my supervisor the Finger." And right now, at this moment, I feel better than I have in weeks. Rawr! (Stretches like a cat). Anybody want to go out for breakfast? There's a diner across the street..they make good hashbrowns. # 0 comments Friday, October 21, 2005 ( 9:19 AM ) teahouse Loot As a follow-up to Wednesday's post, yes we did think of buying and shipping, but the whole point of the bridal shower is to bring the present so the bride can open it in front of us all, and we can all oooooh and aaahhhh and clap. And this is just the bridal shower gift, so we split it several ways and each kicked in about $35. And the plane tickets to get there, and hotel. On top of that, we're all still buying gifts for the wedding itself - I'll be spending about $150 since she's a good friend, and the gift will be from both me and my date (the Boy and I have an agreement that whoever's friend it is has to buy the gift). And we're flying there and staying in a hotel there as well. This reminds me of that episode of Sex and the City, where she realizes that she's spent thousands of dollars celebrating her friend's choices - to get married, have a bridal shower, have children. Of course, I'm happy to do it, because I love my friends. But where's my loot? Also, as anyone who has just moved to a new apartment will tell you, moving makes you realize how much CRAP you have, and that you really don't need anything new. # 0 comments Wednesday, October 19, 2005 ( 9:02 AM ) teahouse The Perils of Modern Day Air Travel Two of my girlfriends and I are flying to Chicago for a bridal shower/bachelorette party this weekend. One of our college roommates is getting married next month. One friend, G, was charged with going to the store and buying something off the registry on behalf of all of us. She called me from her cell phone at the store. "There's a nice blender. We could all split the cost of it," she said. "That sounds great!" I said from the office, trying to write 3 memos at the same time. I was sure that whatever she picked would be fine. "I'm worried," she said. "There are blades in the bottom of the blender. In this post-September 11th high security world, what if we get stopped getting on the plane?" Are blender blades really dangerous? They're all the way in the bottom of the container. I suppose you could throw a blender over someone's head (someone's narrow, pointy head) and gash them with the blades. Well, assuming you had somewhere to plug it in. The only other options were a KitchenAid Stand Mixer and an All-Clad lasagna pan. The mixer seemed even more dangerous - all of those spinning and pointy attachments! In the end, G went with the lasagna pan. Although, it seems to me that the high-quality steel could really hurt someone if you decided to attack them with it. But we're hoping the flight crew doesn't think of that. # 0 comments Tuesday, October 18, 2005 ( 9:13 AM ) teahouse Up and Running Miracle of miracles! When I got home from work last night, my Internet worked! I think it was the incessant calls to Verizon. I got a nice guy on the phone, who must have flipped a switch on or something. I guess they realized they couldn't keep CHARGING me for DSL without letting me have it for another week. Hooray! I feel connected to the world again. It's hard for me to tell myself, as I sit in this empty living room with boxes piled up to the ceiling, that I own this place. Well, the bank owns it for the next 30 years. But it's a start! I can paint the walls purple if I want to. I can knock them down and turn this place into a loft. I can rip out the bathtub and install 2 toilets side-by-side. I can put down green shag carpeting. And there is no landlord to complain! I AM the LANDLORD! Muwahahahahahahahaha!!!! Yippee yay!!! (THB rubs hands maniacally) # 0 comments Sunday, October 16, 2005 ( 9:14 PM ) teahouse Still in Transit The move was a lesson in stress and cynicism. I moved during the worst 8-day period of pouring rain in New York City's recent history. It took the movers 9 hours to pack up and move my stuff. The weather made everything worse. After everything was loaded into their truck, they headed over to my new place, and the Boy and I caught a cab and headed over. We almost collided with a huge truck that suddenly pulled in front of our cab on W. 57th Street. For a moment, I was afraid it was my moving truck. I thought to myself, "Wouldn't it be ironic, to get killed by my own stuff?" But it wasn't. It was a UPS truck. Whew. The Super in my new building is extremely evil. He complained that the movers were moving too slowly; threatened us with fines if we scratched up any of the walls or floors. He basically stood there and bitched while my poor movers ran back and forth from the truck in the pouring rain. At the Boy's suggestion, I greased him and each of the doormen ($20 for him and $10 for each of them) to make a good first impression on the people who run my building, and have the power to make my life miserable or easy. It really made me feel icky to have to do that. But I guess it's the way of the world. And of the big city. The Super has done all sorts of other horrible things, which I won't get into now. I'll save them for another day, after my internet is back up (Verizon is telling me not until October 24!) For now, I'm posting from the Boy's place, I've dug a tunnel through the boxes in my apartment, and I'm exploring my new neighborhood. # 0 comments Wednesday, October 12, 2005 ( 11:28 AM ) teahouse It's The End of the World As We Know It The movers are here. They've taken over my place, like a swarm of locusts. I paid a lot of money for them, and they're good. So honestly, there's not much for me to do. The Boy came over to help, but he and I have just been sitting in the corner, trying to stay out of their way and be vewy vewy quiet. They were pretty impressed that I was able to fill 3 packing boxes with my extensive stationery collection. It's pouring rain outside, and their truck already got towed once! The company had to send a replacement truck. Ok, they're almost done loading up the truck. I have to shut down my computer now. My internet is being disconnected even as we speak, and I may not get my DSL back for another week or so, Verizon is telling me. Evil Verizon! See you guys! Hopefully sooner rather than later. # 0 comments Tuesday, October 11, 2005 ( 8:45 AM ) teahouse Paid Companion I've reached that point that most professional single women reach when they hit a certain age and have high-powered careers but are unmarried and childless. I've hired a housekeeper, and she's become my paid companion. About 6 months ago I hired R from an agency to help me clean and organize my apartment. R is terrific. She's in her 40s, the mother of six, and she really takes charge of all situations. She yells at people - dry cleaners, maintenance men - so I don't have to. Now I can't live without her. She does everything for me. Over the weekend, she came over and helped me pack. Then she and I hauled some stuff to my new apartment, and she cleaned the new place from top to bottom while I ran around and did errands. She even got on her knees and scrubbed the pigeon poop off my balcony with ammonia, bleach and a bucket of hot water, while I stood on and watched, helpless. I have a feeling that when the movers move my stuff, she'll be in charge of putting on the sheets and blankets on the bed, plumping the pillows, folding the laundry and organizing the closet. Guess who's going to decide how the furniture is configured? Guess who's going to alphabetize my DVDs and hang my pictures? I'm putty in her hands. She was so excited when she saw the new place. "What a huge kitchen! And with an island! So much counter space! And jacuzzi jets in the bathroom! We're going to have fun with this!" She even shook the doorman's hand and introduced herself as "THB's housekeeper." The thing is, I love it. She rocks. She keeps me organized and sane. The possibilities are endless. Maybe she could come to my office and organize my files? ------------- On that note, I may be MIA for a few days. The movers are coming, and everything is in chaos. And I have to disconnect my internet service until everything is in the new place. But never fear..I'll be back before you know it! Laters, THB # 0 comments Monday, October 10, 2005 ( 9:14 AM ) teahouse Investing in More Space I have a male friend who complains that he can't find a girlfriend. It's never made any sense to me. He's a reasonably attractive guy, he has a good job (he's a doctor, doing his residency), and he goes out with lots of women. But they never seem to go beyond the second or third date. Sometimes, they'll come over to his place, and then it's usually over. The other day I realized why. I went over to his apartment for the first time. In his bedroom, he has a TWIN bed. Like, in a college dorm room. I told him, "That has got to go! You are a 30-year-old man. You need a double bed, at least. You're not in junior high anymore." His response was, "Why? My mom bought me that bed when I was in medical school. I don't need a bigger one. What's wrong with it?" Uhhhh..I couldn't even begin to explain to him everything that's wrong with it. Or with the fact that his mom bought him the bed. I told him he should invest in a bunk bed, with Superman sheets. Or at least get a twin bed that is in the shape of a convertible. Chicks dig that. # 0 comments Friday, October 07, 2005 ( 9:05 AM ) teahouse Staying on the Safe Side I know I shouldn't let the terrorism threat change my lifestyle. But I'm walking to work today. And on top of the other fears, I now have a new one to add to the mix: now that I'm a homeowner, I have to fear that if something happens (of even if something doesn't happen), my apartment will lose value. One of my coworkers said to me yesterday, "The housing bubble is bursting." I wouldn't have paid any attention to him, except for the fact that he's an associate in my firm's real estate group. I always have great timing. # 0 comments Thursday, October 06, 2005 ( 7:56 AM ) teahouse Headlights The Boy went to Atlantic City last weekend with some buddies for a bachelor party. He got me this souvenir t-shirt. I can't stop laughing. I'm SO wearing this next week, when the moving men come to my place. Maybe it will get me a discount on my moving costs. They'll tip me, instead of the other way around. # 0 comments Wednesday, October 05, 2005 ( 8:53 AM ) teahouse A Great Estate in Derbyshire Wow! I'm overwhelmed by the expressions of support from everyone about my new apartment. What love from the blogosphere! Yes, I'm totally excited! I'm excited about my new neighborhood, my new balcony (woohoo), my mortgage tax deduction. Now that I own an estate, I think I should give it a name. Any suggestions? Pemberley? Rosings Park? Well, since it's an American estate, what about Tara? Or San Simeon? Hardy har har. Yes, I doubt Mr. Darcy or Lady Catherine de Bourgh ever had to deal with just one bedroom. Where would the servants sleep? # 0 comments Monday, October 03, 2005 ( 8:40 AM ) teahouse Closing Time It is done! I had my closing. I now own a tiny little part of the Manhattan skyline. About 600 square feet of it, to be exact. A closing is a pretty intense experience. There were about 10 people in the room. An army of participants in a huge event in my life. What freaked me out the most was the frequency with which people used my last name to refer to the event. When my lawyer and I arrived at the closing, the receptionist said, "Oh, you're here for the THB closing. The other parties are waiting. This way please, Miss THB." People kept popping their heads into the office and saying, "Are you with THB? This is the THB closing? I've got the THB papers here." The lender's lawyer was on the phone yelling, "The THB closing is underway and you still haven't sent me the checks? What's going on? The THB parties don't have all day!" Everyone sat around and answered their cell phones with, "Let me call you back..I'm in the middle of the THB closing." I felt like Donald Trump. Except I have $8 left in my checking account. Not even enough to buy a bad toupee. # 0 comments |
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